Fair Trade Ch 61 - Where Passion Blooms

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Jinse had walked a short distance away before leaning against the wall surrounding some other residence. He placed his hands together in front of his face as he slowly slid down the wall into a crouch. He needed just a moment to gather himself. He didn’t really wish to go far just yet, feeling his own obsession with Xueye clawing its way through his throat.

“Tough time there, Boss?” Wuye’s voice came from the direction Jinse just came from.

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t hear anything,” Jinse tried not to snap at him but it still came out a little harsher than he meant it to. “Sorry…”

“Guilty,” Wuye sat next to Jinse. “Unfortunate timing, really.”

“Sure as fuck is…” Jinse fully settled on the ground, his head still hung low. “Is it normally like this for humans?”

“It’s been a long time since I have felt crazy for someone,” Wuye shrugged. “I do recall it being rather tortuous at times. I think you divine beasts get it much worse though. Some have instincts where distance may as well equate to ripping off a part of oneself. Certainly our friend from the palace seemed rather pained as he left.”

“I understand the sentiment,” Jinse clutched at his robes over his heart. Just this short distance felt like his heart was tearing in two. “I don’t want to scare him or pressure him, and I know if he did give an answer before he left I couldn’t bear to part at all. I’ve waited so long, wondering if he’d ever realize. If he remained ignorant a little longer would this pain still be here?”

“Was it there when he left for Vual the first time?” Wuye asked with a gentle curiosity.

“Well, when it got unbearable I’d visit him, but I don’t get that luxury this time,” Jinse let out a long sigh. “It worked out well with the time I needed to transfer fortune to him. I hope that lizard’s will last him the trip.”

“The off chance it’s not, then well he might get a blessing from more than one god,” Wuye snickered quietly.

“Would that really count as one?” Jinse raised a brow, finally looking over at Wuye.

“Typically my blessing does favor good fortune when it comes to performers and artists I favor,” Wuye shrugged. “My other boss won’t bat an eye at that, especially given the Young Master’s talents.”

“I guess you’re right,” Jinse tilted his head back, looking up at the stormy skies. Fortunately the rain had eased off to a faint misting so they weren’t drenched as they sat on the side of the street. “Has anyone had multiple blessings from the gods before?”

“A few,” Wuye shrugged. ”It’s just super rare. Why?”

“Do you think yours would help Xueye?” Jinse asked tentatively.

“It wouldn’t hurt if it is the typical one,” Wuye hummed thoughtfully. “It varies per person but provided it goes as it usually does I don’t think it would fully counter the drain until he potentially learns to harness the Moon’s ability. He really would need to start performing more often to trigger the blessing. But wouldn’t that mean less time you get to spend with him?”

“Like that would stop me,” Jinse rolled his eyes. “You’re right though, as long as I’m still around I won’t let it fully lapse again. So you don’t have to of course. The off chance I don't succeed and Xueye makes it through this disaster, consider it then? I plan to teach Shizhe this as well but, a bit of both couldn’t hurt right?”

“Ah, don’t worry, he’ll have it soon enough,” Wuye tried to wave the notion away. He had every bit of faith that Jinse would make it through this alive, but he also suspected he would only grow more attached to Xueye over the course of the trip. Just listening to his sweet and gentle nature thus far was already winning him over, let alone the fact Jinse coveted him so much. “I think I can get away with a little more if I do bless him anyways.”

“So you are breaking a bunch of rules, huh?” Jinse glowered at Wuye.

“It’s fine,” Wuye shrugged. “You worry too much about that. As long as it’s not killing unwarranted, they probably aren’t going to snatch me away until after I ‘find’ our target.”

“You really are a reckless idiot,” Jinse grumbled as he pinched his brow.

“Only when it matters most,” Wuye giggled. “Have I distracted you from your woes enough?”

“Well you have me more concerned about you at this moment, so yeah,” Jinse flashed a chagrined smile that eventually softened. “Thanks, Maque.”

“I got you, buddy,” Wuye beamed with a mission accomplished. He stood up and offered a hand to help Jinse up.

Jinse took it but didn’t let go once Wuye pulled him up. He pulled Wuye closer and whispered, “If I do anything rash tonight, stop me.”

“I think you got that covered,” Wuye patted his arm. “You wouldn't be out here otherwise.”

“I’m serious,” Jinse grumbled bitterly.

“Immortals don’t need to sleep, you know, just a little meditation for the bare minimum. If it’s too much you can leave it to me.” Wuye offered. “But you should get a little more time with him at least before you are deprived of him for a couple weeks.”

“Awfully confident you are going to find a solution quickly, huh?” Jinse scoffed.

“More like if we don’t find a lead amidst the mortals there in a week I’ll poke around something a little more divine.” Wuye said with a cocky grin. “Provided Vual’s Old Gods are in a decent mood. I think they are supposed to be awake this time of year so there’s a better chance of that.”

“There’s usually a cost with them right? Tell them I’m more than willing to pay it.” Jinse stated sternly.

“Well I’m hoping my little favor with one of them will negate that,” Wuye shrugged. He noticed Jinse glancing back at Xueye’s home with a longing look. “Do you want to linger nearby? I can fetch whatever you might need.”

“Don’t encourage my behavior right now,” Jinse let out a rough breath. “In fact I still insist, if I am unable to hold myself back, please stop me. Doesn’t matter how.”

“Oh stop it, I have faith you’ll be fine,” Wuye pat Jinse on the shoulder.

“What makes you so sure?” Jinse was still looking a little dejected as he looked at Wuye.

“You wouldn’t be out here now, for one thing,” Wuye shrugged. “You’ve got impeccable self control. After we first met, the amount of times I’ve had to goad you into indulging a little more before you finally started letting loose was such a pain. I’ve noticed since being in your company again you reverted to that.”

“Well I used to indulge in other things to curb these cravings,” Jinse sighed. “I don’t want to do that anymore… It hurts him… I think because of that I’m struggling a little more.”

“So I’ve heard,” Wuye chuckled, he’d heard plenty from Song complaining to Hu Ning about Jinse shirking off her advances as of late. Min and Hu Ning had told Wuye all about how Jinse usually drowned in pleasure and alcohol when coping with his own emotions regarding Xueye. Wuye knew he stopped drinking around the time the Water God became more of a threat. It was a similar time frame that he seemed to be avoiding his most recent lovers. “Is there something else you indulge in that isn’t inconvenient for your goals right now?”

“Maybe if I had a new book,” Jinse shrugged. “It’s hard to find anything new to me these days.”

“Hmm,” Wuye had an idea to itch Jinse’s curiosity but was a bit uncertain if he’d trust his recommendation given the last one cost his mind and a mortal life. “Would you trust me to give you something?”

“It’s not divine knowledge is it?” Jinse said in a teasing tone with a coy smirk. It was a little relieving for Wuye that he was willing to joke about it now.

“Not at all,” Wuye shrugged. “Something I found in the Archivist’s shrine, that their high priest was struggling to find anyone to translate it. One of the Archivist’s messengers asked me about it since it was related to my old sect but I haven’t a clue. It’s written in some code I’m not familiar with. If you would like to try and have a crack at it, I can go fetch it when you return to him.”

“I can’t guarantee I can but perhaps it could be just the distraction I need while he’s away…” Jinse couldn’t deny the faint sense of intrigue he felt. It was some secret from a sect meant there could be a possibility it was some secret technique in there.

“The sooner you are off the sooner I can get it,” Wuye chuckled upon seeing the interested spark in Jinse’s eyes.

“Your bribery is noted,” Jinse rolled his eyes. “Lucky for you it’s working.”

“As intended then,” Wuye smirked. 

“Thank you,” Jinse said slowly and deliberately. “Feels like you are always helping me more than you should.”

“I’ve a lot to make up for,” Wuye shrugged casually. 

“Doesn’t make it any less meaningful,” Jinse closed his eyes for a moment. “You know if there is anything you need-.”

“There won’t be but I’ll be sure to ask you if there is,” Wuye patted him on the shoulder and started walking back towards Xueye’s home. 

“You better,” Jinse huffed and rolled his eyes as he set off to pick up a few things. 

While out, acquiring food wasn’t his only goal. He had an idea of a particular item that he could gift Xueye that could also be of use on their journey in the off chance they were separated. He had hoped it wouldn’t be needed but considering the dangers Xueye faced and in light of what happened during the conclusion of Xueye’s life in Vual, he figured it couldn’t hurt. So Jinse stopped by a shady looking shop tucked into a corner of a back alley. It didn’t seem like one at first glance, but Jinse knew the owner was an eccentric old man with a few marbles missing. However he always had the most delightful collection of oddities and magical items. Stepping inside there was a strange scent in the air. A little acrid and strong with far too many sources of magic clashing.

“Master Ko? Up to no good again?” Jinse called out, even though he hadn’t seen the old man, he certainly could hear him tinkering with something.

“Lucky fellow! You return! Just a moment!” The old voice called out from behind a pile of books and scrolls. “Very new… hoping good, not bad!”

Jinse tilted his head to peer around the stack and saw him hunched over with some small tools etching something into small pieces of metal. With the workspace as cluttered as it was Jinse hadn’t the slightest clue what he was attempting to craft this time. The engraved symbols glowed briefly but puttered out almost instantly.

“Gah! Useless again!” He huffed and tossed down the tools in frustration. He shifted his glasses and looked up at Jinse. “What can I do for Lord Luck today?”

“Do you still have those two draw stone pendants?” Jinse asked. 

“Yes, yes!” He started shuffling through the clutter to get to what little semblance of a shop counter existed. He pulled out a box from beneath it and started rummaging around it. “Never thought they would sell. Romance is dead these days. Someone special for you then?”

“Special indeed,” Jinse couldn’t help but smile. “What is it you want for them?”

“How special, hm?” Ko smirked, narrowing his eyes with a shrewd glint in them. 

“Name your price and maybe I’ll tell you,” Jinse crossed his arms and smirked. Ko wasn’t typically one to extort too much but he would upsell things quite a bit. Jinse didn’t care much about the cost. Ko was usually worth indulging every once in a while. 

“Very special then…” Ko nodded. “Very special…” Ko side eyed him as he fished out one of the two pendants. Intricate metalwork wrapped around a smooth, round crystal. The craftsmanship was much finer than when he had last seen it in the shop, it was certainly one of Ko’s finer works upgrading. “You keeping them close with this. Very special.” 

Ko popped open the small window on it and the crystal within was set alight and it was drawn towards the box he just pulled it from. When Ko pulled out the matching one, Jinse understood the adjustment based on the runes etched into the metal of the little doorway to the crystal. It made it so that they both didn’t glow while reacting to each other. It was reassuring for Jinse, in the off chance that Xueye or Xinhua were kidnapped while wearing it, they wouldn’t know they were being tracked. That alone would be worth whatever cost.

“How much?” Jinse reiterated gently.

“No cost, only favor,” Ko set them down.

“I’m busy tonight, will it be now or later?” Jinse had been known to strike such a deal before but never had he done so with Ko. He didn’t think Ko knew about it. The crazy old coot was more informed than he thought.

“Later fine!” Ko waved him off. “Not much presentation as gift. You need go elsewhere for that.”

“Better honestly,” Jinse grinned, considering how huffy Xueye was over Yushi’s gift. WIth no definitive way to track where it was from it was less likely he would know the price. Ko’s collection of goods was less of a shop anyways, most often failed experiments or custom requests. Xinhua was also too clever and Jinse knew Ko had a tendency to get into trouble enough as it is with sects or some of the temples whenever the magic items he made ended up causing problems. That was usually when Jinse would do his best to help the old man out of such trouble. 

“You know where to find me,” Jinse took the pendants and stashed them away in his robes for now.

“Yes, yes! Take care,” Ko called after him as he left.

“You too,” Jinse said quietly. He didn’t take long to fetch what else he needed. He wished he’d acquired the food first as he was now overly eager to give the gift to Xueye. He understood Yushi’s overeagerness with gifting the young man rather well. Even if it wasn’t instinctual for Jinse the way it was for the dragon, Jinse always wanted to spoil Xuye the moment he started getting closer to the young man. He quickly realized how rarely Xueye indulged in anything more than what he needed. It started as a way to give Xueye little luxuries but Jinse quickly realized some of it was a subtle form of possessiveness when it came to him wearing something from him. Seeing Xueye in pretty much everything from Yushi today aside from the Moon Goddess pendant he gave him had definitely brought forth that desire once more. 

While this gift wasn’t nearly as costly it was just as helpful in a pinch. He fully expected that Xueye would be rather resistant about receiving anything else today. Xueye was always rather abrasive when it came to receiving gifts, more so than most people of Meihua. It came less out of stubborn pride that most Meihuan’s put up. Xueye always wished to return the favor with something of equal value, because of that Jinse learned early on to try and not do anything that would put him out too much or give him things the value was difficult to determine. Despite the fine craftsmanship, he hoped this pendant’s value was obscure enough especially given the fact he was trading a favor for it.

When Jinse stepped up to the door he heard the faintest melody. He decided to step inside as quietly as he could. Xueye was humming a delightful tune as he danced about with his eyes closed with a contented expression. Jinse just leaned against the wall as he watched the young man flit about gracefully. Jinse was instantly mesmerized.

Xueye opened his eyes just a bit and caught a glimpse of Jinse. He briefly lost his footing and began to stumble but before he had a chance to catch himself Jinse was there to catch him, despite the vast distance. It was almost more dizzying to Xueye than the twirling about he was doing to take his mind off things. Xueye was almost certain that he should have hit the floor before Jinse reached him. 

“Careful now,” Jinse voiced softly. “You are the kind of snowflake meant to drift in the air and not melt into the ground.”

“I admit I’m not fond of falling, for obvious reasons,” Xueye laughed nervously. “You were fast…”

“I couldn’t stay away for long,” Jinse said with a fond smile. 

“I didn’t mean…” Xueye trailed off and shook his head. Surely he imagined it, he was tired after all, he just couldn’t rest. “Nevermind.” Xueye noticed how straight Jinse’s hair looked when dripping wet with rainwater. “You are sopping wet. Did you not bring the umbrella?”

“Tempting to tease you with that but I’ll refrain,” Jinse chuckled to himself. He was trying to behave himself a little more. He needed to if he was going to get through the night without doing anything they both would regret. “I wasn’t exactly thinking straight when I stepped out. I’ll dry off soon enough.” Jinse wandered off towards the kitchen with the goods he brought back and set them on the countertop. 

“I’ll not have you end up sick and miserable while I’m away,” Xueye stepped into the kitchen with the Fire Wolf Mantle in hand. Before Jinse could speak against it Xueye had already draped it over Jinse’s shoulders. “I’m warm after all that practice anyways.”

“I don’t get sick, Xueye, I-”

“I’ll keep it that way,” Xueye cut him off. “Now it’s your turn to go sit by the fire while I draw you a hot bath and find you something dry that will fit you.”

“Xueye, that’s not necessary I assure you, just sitting by the fire a while is more than enough,” Jinse grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“It’ll give me peace of mind, okay,” Xueye said in a huff. “Besides while I look I can set aside a few things for the trip so it’s not like I’ll be wasting time.”

“Fine, but let me handle the bath at least,” Jinse sighed in defeat. “You should be taking it easy and you certainly weren’t while I was gone.”

“How am I supposed to rest after all that?” Xueye mumbled so quietly that if Jinse didn’t have sensitive hearing he surely would have missed it. “But as long as you agree to it,” Xueye beamed at him triumphantly. Xueye twisted his arm in Jinse’s loose grip to start dragging him through the house to the bath.

Though Xueye’s home isn’t the largest, the rooms are quite spacious. The bathroom was no exception. It was almost larger than Jinse's, which he had crafted secretly to handle his rather large true form even if he rarely is in the form to use it. Though the bath itself wasn’t nearly as large, it was still more than he expected given Xueye’s tendency to not indulge much. He was beginning to realize just how much Xueye seemed to value comfort above even his own desires. 

“I just realized how roomy your home is,” Jinse said as he ran his hand alongside the large wood tub. 

“Well I went a little more spacious in hopes my siblings might one day join me here,” Xueye said from the doorway. “At the very least my brother. He made his decision on the matter and Xinhua is quite happy in the palace but I like to keep it available as an option.”

“Such a sweet sentiment,” Jinse couldn’t help but feel bittersweet about it. He couldn’t help but wonder how well Qingkong would be doing now if he had left the Meigui Estate with Xueye.

“Anyway, I’ll hopefully be back soon enough with something for you to borrow while your clothes dry,” Xueye said with a smile. “Just leave your clothes by the door and I’ll hopefully swap them out soon enough.”

He really did seem so delighted to be offering such help to Jinse like this. Jinse didn’t have the heart to keep protesting the fact he didn’t need it. Jinse never did get sick unless it was some magical ailment. Even so, there was something nice about the idea of being catered to by Xueye. His cold damp clothing really wasn’t a bother any more with the warmth welling in his chest. 

After a bit of time of Xueye rifling through his own variety of well tailored robes while he looked for something for Jinse to wear he realized it wasn’t as easy a task as he thought it would be. He occasionally tossed aside something that would be suitable for the trip, mostly thicker robes or something he could layer. He didn’t have too much of the Vualian style clothing left. He was going to have to consider grabbing a few while they were there. 

The problem became rather clear, however, that pretty much everything he owned was in fact tailored to his smaller frame. Jinse was not only almost a head taller but his shoulders were much broader. He didn’t think any of them would be that comfortable for him to wear. If anything he felt Jinse would be more likely to wear these robes open which certainly was going to keep Xueye’s mind swimming with bad ideas that would just lead to a vicious longing. Leaving was already bad enough, he really didn’t want to be away from Jinse or Shujing now that Xueye was more aware of his own feelings towards them and starting to grasp their feelings towards him. 

Xueye’s eyes wandered over to the dark blue robe that was leant to him while he was staying with Shujing. He had been using it to keep warm in the evenings since it was so large and he was allowed to keep it. Yushi’s build was a bit larger than that of Jinse’s so it was likely the only thing he had that would properly fit Jinse. It was a little conflicting because for one thing, Xueye did want to take it with him but also he couldn’t help but think it strange to see Jinse in something that was Shujing’s. However it really was his only option for the time being.

Xueye picked it up from where he had it folded nicely on his bed, near his pillow. He let out a sigh and also snatched up one of his lengthier cloth belts. He wandered over to the bathroom door and knocked softly.

“It’s not much but I brought you something,” Xueye stated as he cracked open the door. He saw the rumpled pile of wet clothing just inside and next to it folded neatly was the mantle Xueye had draped over him. Xueye couldn’t help but smirk a little at the contrast of care over Jinse’s personal items compared to something borrowed.

“Thank you, Xueye,” Jinse called out from the area near the bath.

Xueye didn’t intend to look but Jinse’s voice just caught his attention briefly enough to catch a glimpse of the flawless expanse of perfectly sun-kissed skin. While normally with how open Jinse wore his robes, it left little to the imagination when it came to his upper body. However, now there wasn’t really anything left for Xueye to imagine as he saw Jinse trying to let down his soaked ponytail. 

Before Jinse could catch Xueye staring he quickly snatched up the wet robes and left the dry one, quickly slipping away. Jinse did however glance over at the movement just in time to catch his favorite peachy color on the tips of Xueye’s ears. 

Xueye had to mentally scold himself for even looking. More so for the lucid thoughts that started to linger. He was starting to understand Jinse’s need for a walk in the rain all of a sudden. 

Xueye shook his head to try and chase away such notions. He tried to focus on splaying out Jinse’s wet clothes over the edge of the chair closest to the fireplace since hanging them outside on the line was out of the question. Yet it still didn’t do much to abate the heat crawling up his neck and lingering in his cheeks.

Fortunately a knock on the front door was a welcome distraction. He quickly moved to open it to be greeted by his sister’s warm smile. Though her brow raised a little upon seeing his flustered state.

“Are you still feeling alright?” Xinhua asked, reaching out and gently brushing his forehead. “You’re feeling awfully warm.”

“I was just doing a few things,” Xueye was trying to maintain his cool as he let her in. “I couldn’t quite rest and so I practiced a bit and started figuring out what to bring.”

“Jinse let you practice?” Xinhua blinked in surprise. She would have expected Jinse to force Xueye to rest even if he was feeling restless.

“It was while he was picking up food. I just don’t have much here,” Xueye explained as he fiddled with his sleeves. “He didn’t seem too bothered by it.”

“Well, I guess if it does keep you warm…” Xinhua hummed softly. “Should I bring along my flute to help you practice as we travel?”

“Oh, would you?!” Xueye lit up at the thought. It felt like an eternity since he had last heard her play. It was long before their mother passed. It was also much easier for him to practice to music played by others rather than humming his own melodies.

“Sure, it’s easy enough to bring,” Xinhua couldn’t help but chuckle at how quickly his mood brightened. “I warn you, I am very rusty. I think the last time I did was shortly after I met Shizhe.”

“It’ll help us both then,” Xueye giggled.

“Are you considering performing at the Sparrow Feather Festival like Shizhe suggested?” Xinhua inquired. She tried to keep it a gentle question but she couldn’t deny that she was a little excited that Xueye was even just practicing. “If all goes well, certainly we’ll be back in time.”

“I admit I’ve been considering it,” Xueye voiced with a gentle smile. “It may be best to not arrange anything just yet. It’s not like we know exactly how long we’ll be gone, right?”

“Well even if we miss it you can always perform at the Fox’s Den, I’m sure Jinse won’t mind.” Xinhua beamed. “Where is he anyways?”

“He returned not long ago,” Xueye glanced down the hall and hoped his flush wasn’t too apparent when he was quickly reminded of what he’d just seen. “He didn’t take an umbrella with him and came back soaked to the bone. I had him take a bath and gave him some dry clothes to change into. I’d hate for him to fall ill while I’m away.”

“Oh?” Xinhua smirked at him. She definitely noticed.

“What?” Xueye glanced at her.

“Hmm, nothing,” Xinhua giggled. She wasn’t going to tease him too much given how unstable his condition had seemed. “I’m surprised you had anything that would fit him.”

“Well you are right, everything I have is pretty fitted to my frame,” Xueye giggled. “It was a robe of Shujing’s that he gave me. I just wear it around the house sometimes. I hope it works for him.”

“I’m sure it’ll be just fine,” Xinhua tried to hide her amusement at the whole idea with a quick change in subject. “I secured us passage north. Will you be ready by noon tomorrow?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Xueye nodded.

“I guess it depends on how late you two stay up,” Xinhua couldn’t resist teasing just a little. 

“Jiejie!” Xueye scolded, his cheeks turning quite red. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” Xinhua snickered. “Just what has you so worked up anyways? Is his teasing getting to you?”

“N-no…” Xueye huffed, running the hem of his sleeve between his fingers. “I can handle that just fine.”

“What is it then?” Xinhua was rather curious. 

“Well… Do you have a moment to spare?” Xueye felt truly abashed just thinking about talking about this with Jinse able to walk out any moment, even if he was certain Jinse may be a while still. 

“Of course, everything is ready on my end,” Xinhua guided him to the seating area and they both sat down. “I left Qingkong and Shizhe to chat in her library. No doubt he’s telling her silly stories about what we were like when we were little.”

“Wouldn’t she know them already?” Xueye couldn't help but laugh at the thought. 

“She likes to hear people tell their perspective. She told me before that she doesn’t know the feelings or thoughts about it all unless they talk about it. So she loves to hear people’s stories, it fills the canvas just a little more.”

“I see,” Xueye closed his eyes and sighed. “I bet she’ll be upset she missed this chat then…”

“Oh don’t you worry I’ll fill her in. She usually demands it and I just can’t say no,” Xinhua smirked. “So what’s on your mind?”

“I…” Xueye glanced at the hallway just to be certain Jinse wasn’t there. “I’m starting to realize something. I guess I have for sometime now but I was just always in denial or I guess paranoid I might be wrong. Now is the worst time for it too. How is it you and Shizhe managed to work things out despite the unfortunate timing?”

“Did you-?” Xinhua’s eyes widened.

“No!” Xueye stopped her from speaking on that thought any further. “Heavens, no. I can’t now, not when we are about to leave. I think this ailment of mine would kill me on the way there if I had. My feelings about it all are just too jumbled still anyways.” 

“Take it easy, you have time to sort it all out,” Xinhua took his hands, noticing they were starting to feel a little cold. “Time away will give you a chance to think and process it all.”

“I’m worried about how this will unfold when I do. I think if I lose either of them it will break me, plagued by this damned cold or not.” Xueye felt a chill at just the mention of it. Then again it was likely the thought of either the ones he cared so deeply for abandoning him because he made the wrong choice. 

Xueye snapped out of his thoughts when Xinhua draped a blanket over his shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. 

“I know better than anyone that waiting isn’t easy,” Xinhua said softly. “The time I realized and accepted that Shizhe could even feel the same as I was so excruciatingly long. I didn’t think I was worthy of someone as amazing and powerful as her.”

“But you two are so perfect for each other,” Xueye gave her a comforting squeeze. “I picked up that much from your letters alone.”

“I know that now but I was in denial for the longest time myself,” Xinhua leaned back a little. “It was in the times I had to leave the capital for an assignment was when it really started to sink in. I realized that I missed her so desperately being away from her that returning was the sweetest feeling. It kept me going, even in the most dangerous of situations. I had to make it back home not just for my family but for her too. That’s how I knew there was no one else for me.”

“Have you told her that yet?” Xueye couldn’t help but smile at the sweet way Xinhua spoke of Shizhe. “I’m certain that is one sentiment she’d love to hear.”

“You’re right, I probably should,” Xinhua giggled quietly. “She’ll certainly know these feelings when I come back this time. She’ll have to chase me away so I can get any work done.”

“I doubt it, you work harder than anyone I know,” Xueye scoffed.

“You haven’t been around Luoshi and Yuliang enough,” Xinhua shrugged. “Heavens know that Luoshi needs this time away.”

“Let’s pray there’s no trouble so he can just relax then,” Xueye beamed.

“My thoughts as well,” Xinhua couldn’t help but laugh a little given that they would be traveling with a god. “My hope is that despite the nature of this trip we can all just take it easy. Even if in this time away, you can’t sort out your feelings either you don’t have to rush it for when you return. Those in your heart are nothing if not patient. They only want what’s best for you. Why else do you think they would send their best to protect you?”

Xueye’s eyes widened, “Oh Heavens, they did, didn’t they?!” Xueye covered his face and groaned. He was starting to feel stupid for denying it for so long. “Jiejie, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be normal? Maybe I would have believed them sooner…”

“Xueye,” Xinhua’s voice was gentle as she pulled his hands away from his face. “You are normal. The thing is you never let yourself heal and move forward before you got hurt again and again. Now you have so many that want to help you through it all that it’s hard to ignore the need to heal, right?” 

Xueye nodded, feeling overwhelmed by the emotions that were threatening to spill forth. He really was at his breaking point. He no longer wanted to wander aimlessly through life, hopeless and hurting. Not when he’d been shown just the smallest pieces of what his happiness could be. 

“That’s what I thought,” Xinhua smiled warmly, wiping his tears from his cheeks. “Now that you are starting to let yourself recover, you can’t expect all that damage to magically go away. Be patient with yourself and know that those that really care will be patient for you too.”

“Haven’t I waited long enough? Haven’t they?” Xueye closed his eyes. 

“Do you know what it is you want?” Xinhua asked.

“I just want to make them both as happy as they’ve made me,” Xueye had such a gentle, affectionate smile that Xinhua had never seen before. It was so incredibly endearing until a loud clattering noise from down the hall quickly replaced it with concern. “Jinse?!”

“I’m fine! Just knocked something over,” Jinse called out through the crack in the door. Jinse had wished he’d closed the door sooner before he got into the bath but he noticed that Xueye hadn’t quite closed it all the way in his hurry to leave earlier but it didn’t matter to Jinse much when he was able to listen in. Now his form slipped the moment he heard Xueye’s sweet admission and his wagging tails, knocking everything at the edge of the bath over.

Jinse closed the door and sank to the ground to try and recompose himself. There were so many times when he’d almost lost control of his form. Even when Xueye managed to fluster him, he’d never let it slip. He felt awfully foolish for letting those words get to him so much that he let his control slip when he was trying his damnedest to keep it a secret for now to avoid scaring him.

Jinse had been far too relaxed. The sound of the rain, the warmth of the water, Xueye’s comforting presence, and on top of it all he was surrounded by every aspect of Xueye’s scent which never failed to relax him by mere association. The gentle floral scented oils and soap as well as what was so inherently Xueye not only lingered in the air but emanated from the robe that Xueye left behind that was now next to Jinse.

Jinse picked up the dark blue robe pressing it to his nose and breathing in that delightful scent. Jinse could tell Xueye had been wearing it often, his scent was so soaked into it that washing it wouldn’t do much to get rid of it. He did recall seeing Xueye in it the morning of the Brightness Festival so it wasn’t hard to guess he wore it to feel comfortable. The fact it was from Yushi strangely didn’t bother him nearly as much as he expected. Not when it was so very much Xueye’s now. 

Jinse’s rapid heart rate mellowed out, taking in the scent of Xueye when he was usually at his most ease. Even with his thoughts still running amok he was at least able to will his form to slowly shift back to its most human. Jinse was beginning to understand why Yushi was slipping on his own control because of the young man and yet still found so much comfort in being near him. They really were far too alike in many ways.

Jinse threw the robe on and loosely secured it, keeping the towel over his shoulders to keep his hair from soaking it too much. He wasn’t certain how long Xinhua would remain but he wanted to take the opportunity to give them both the gift now rather than wait until tomorrow. He swiped up the pendants from the countertop and stepped out.

“Are you sure you are alright?” Xueye asked the moment he spotted Jinse. “I didn’t think you would be done so soon.”

“All is well, more embarrassed than anything,” Jinse sighed. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything. I figured that knock was you, Xinhua. I have something for you both and I figured it would be best to give it to you now rather than last minute tomorrow.” Jinse held a pendant out in each hand. While Xinhua took hers with curiosity in her eye, Jinse saw Xueye instantly looking a little huffy, clearly not over Yushi’s earlier gift. “Before you get upset I got this for free. It is quite special.”

Jinse opened up the little door to expose the crystal, “You see, the stones in this are called draw stones. They are a rather common yet magical stone with an almost magnetic attraction but only to each other.” To show as an example he let the pendant dangle and it swayed towards the one in Xinhua’s hand, remaining at an unnatural angle. 

“Amazing!” Xinhua moved hers around a bit with fascination as she watched the other pendant follow. 

“Say you two get separated at all while you are on your little excursion you will be able to find each other if you open this up.” Jinse smiled as he closed the pendant and offered it to Xueye once more. “It also glows in case you find yourselves in a dark space for whatever reason.”

“How incredibly thoughtful of you,” Xueye took it carefully. He could understand exactly why Jinse got this. He shared the same anxiety that came with returning to Vual. This was a step towards avoiding disaster should history repeat. It did ease that anxiety somewhat. “Thank you.”

“Hopefully we won’t need it but I appreciate your consideration,” Xinhua smiled as she put it on.

“Did you really get these for free?” Xueye was a little suspicious after having gotten one costly magical item already. He didn't want to be frustrated with Jinse as well over the same reason but he wasn’t above it. “You say it’s common but I can’t say I’ve heard of it. I know we don’t tend to deal in magical items all that often. But still, aren't they always a little costly?”

“I assure you I’m not lying to avoid your wrath,” Jinse chuckled. “It’s in exchange for a favor for the acquaintance that made the casing.”

“It is quite lovely craftsmanship," Xueye said as he traced over the decorative metal cage. “A shame we’ll have to wear it underneath on the road.”

“If you are wearing that mantle will it really matter?” Xinhua laughed.

“Not everyone knows a fire wolf mantle when they see it, but a shiny piece of jewelry is quite attractive to any petty thief,” Jinse shrugged. “As long as you have one it’s not like you can’t find them and get it back.”

“Is there a range?” Xinhua asked, Shizhe’s fascination with magical beings and items was admittedly rubbing off on her. 

“None that I’m aware of but not sure if the enchantment to hide the glow limits that.” Jinse explained. “I should have thought to ask him that…”

“Would Maque be able to discern that at all?” Xinhua figured he’d be the next best one to ask.

“Provided he can read that crazy script all over it,” Jinse chuckled. “I know I never can understand a lick of it.”

“Worth a shot,” Xinhua shrugged. “When I return home I will see if it works at that distance.”

“By all means,” Jinse could tell that Xinhua wasn’t just excited over the magical properties but her questions he could tell she understood exactly why he got it, just as he expected.

“You have me really curious, now,” Xinhua giggled. She glanced at Xueye, her expression softening upon seeing him looking at it rather fondly. “Didi, is there anything else you wanted to talk about tonight?”

“Nothing that can’t wait,” Xueye waved his free hand back and forth. “You still need to finish packing as well, right? So don’t let me keep you too long. We’ll have plenty of time to talk. Besides, I'm certain Qingkong and Shizhe would love to spend a little more time with you before we leave.”

“Alright, if you need anything else, you know where to find me,” Xinhua patted Xueye’s head with a comforting smile. “Please rest well tonight.”

“I will,” Xueye nodded. “I’ve felt quite tired today but haven’t quite been able to rest because I’ve somehow had too much energy. An unfortunate combination.”

“You still have some sleep aid from the doctor, right?” Jinse asked. “That should help. I promise to not keep you up too late.”

“I don’t know, you have until midday,” Xinhua said with a smirk. 

“Jiejie!” Xueye hissed sharply as he started shoving her towards the door. 

Xinhua tilted her head to catch Jinse’s reaction and was quite surprised to see him looking quite flustered as well. She suspected that he heard their whole conversation but didn’t quite know until then. She was starting to understand why he had so much fun teasing her about Shizhe. It was satisfying to see him lose his composure, especially now knowing just what he was. Even a powerful and long lived divine beast could blush like a school kid.

“I will see you tomorrow on the northern side of the docks,” Xinhua said in a chipper tone. “The ship is called Weifeng.”

“Thank you, jiejie,” Xueye hugged her. “You’ve done so much for me.”

“I’m just happy you let me,” Xinhua giggled. “Take it easy, okay?”

“I should be telling you that,” Xueye flashed a worried smile. Despite the energy she seemed to have upon arrival, she was starting to look quite weary again.

“I will if you do,” Xinhua smirked.

“I promise,” Xueye rolled his eyes. 

“Good,” Xinhua patted his head again as she stepped out the door. “See you tomorrow!”

“Tomorrow,” Xueye nodded and closed the door behind her. He lingered a moment. Part of him had hoped that there would be just a little more time. Shujing was so exhausted earlier. Xueye wished he had just a little more time for Shujing as well. However, Xueye couldn’t have asked Shujing to remain with them for the rest of the day as much as he’d have happily had Shujing sleep in his home, just to be near both he cared about most. 

He really did love them both so deeply, the more he thought about it. The realization was quite warm but it also left his chest feeling so tight. He hoped the cure for what ailed him wasn’t hard to find.

A pair of arms wrapped around Xueye from behind and he realized he’d been lingering near the door for too long. 

“Miss her already?” Jinse asked with a worried expression.

“Actually, I find myself missing you already,” Xueye sighed. It was then he  realized how forward it sounded. The last thing he wanted was to chase Jinse out again by accident. “O-of course the others too! You know, Shizhe, Qingkong, and Shujing…”

“He’ll definitely be there to see you off,” Jinse’s embrace tightened ever so slightly. Xueye couldn’t tell if it was intended for comfort or if the faint strain in his voice betrayed a little possessiveness he was trying to hide with kind words. “I bet he’ll be here bright and early.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Xueye giggled. 

“Tonight, you are all mine,” Jinse smirked, expecting his words to get under Xueye’s skin a little, however Xueye just smiled at him fondly.

“I’m glad you are here Jinse,” Xueye turned in his embrace and returned it in ernest. “Even if I’m not ready to quantify how just yet you mean so much to me.”

“Stop saying things like this will be the last time we see each other, okay?” Jinse buried his nose in that soft white hair and took in a breath hoping it would quell his rapid heartbeat once more. 

“That’s not what I meant,” Xueye giggled. “I want to get there and back as soon as I can really. I just feel a little sentimental since this all started, you know?”

“So I’ve noticed,” Jinse pressed their foreheads together. “You won’t hear any complaints from me. I like seeing you more open, it’s a good look on you.”

“I’m trying, it’s difficult,” Xueye sighed. “Habits die hard.”

“I understand, truly,” Jinse took a step back. Any longer and he wouldn’t let go. He just wanted to take care of Xueye so much at that moment. “Hungry, yet? I know it’s not terribly late but I’m guessing you’d rather try and turn in early, right?”

“I guess that’s not a bad idea,” Xueye shrugged before placing his hands on his hips,  “You really should finish your bath. You weren’t in there that long.”

“If you insist,” Jinse sighed in defeat. He really was hoping Xueye would forget.

---

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